A few more excerpts from the Cynic’s Dictionary

Credit Card- Plastic passport to the valley of the shadow of debt.

Credit Rating- A confidential report card circulated among creditors for the purpose of ascertaining whether a given consumer has incurred enough debts to be considered a sound risk.

Socialism- Transformation of the state into a milquetoast Robin Hood, a pudgy gray bureaucrat who robs from the spirit to give to the poor

Unemployment- The usual alternative to overwork. A full-time job that depletes energy and morale even more effectively than one's former occupation.

Union- An exclusive club for manual laborers, esp. those with well-placed in-laws. Formerly the socialist underbelly of the American corporation; now notable for having transformed blue-collar workers into staunch conservatives with a patch of lawn to keep impeccably trimmed and weeded.

Xenophobia- A pervasive fear and loathing of anything foreign, commonly voiced by Americans of European ancestry as they dine on pork lo mein while enjoying Arnold Schwarzenegger on their Japanese VCRs.


-From: The Cynic's Dictionary by Rick Bayan